Suri's Burn Book

Kingston Rossdale smiling would be news enough (I plan to never lose my two front teeth, by the way), but WHAT IN THE WORLD is Zuma wearing? I could maybe look the other way if he was wearing that outfit at the beach, on a surfboard, but just walking down the street? Blinding.

The Rossdales are up to no good. No one is planning good behavior when they are wearing that many necklaces. Or facepaint.

Yawn — another photo of Kingston Rossdale in an elaborate Halloween costume. (Last month, he was a cowboy. Flip-flopper.)

And another photo of Zuma Rossdale as the most boring, conspicuous Batman ever.

The difference between Kingston and Zuma Rossdale is that Kingston knows when class is called for. He’s in dress shoes and a button-down, and is sporting a surprisingly well-coiffed hairstyle, as he celebrates his mother’s birthday with dinner.

Zuma, though, sported sneakers and a tank top, and accessorized with a belt that’s not doing its job and what appears to be a sippy cup.

You have to dress for the occasion, even when the guest of honor is your mother. And Zuma is dressed for a redneck picnic.

The Rossdales are getting a very early start on Halloween, it appears. Kingston’s choice surprises me because I guess I imagined that his cowboy style would be more like Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and less like Woody from Toy Story.

I’m even more confused by Gwen’s costume. I just cannot figure out who (or what) she’s supposed to be in those pants. A sumo wrestler on safari?

If not for the off-brand snacks and that ridiculous hat, I’d almost believe that Gwen Stefani is a good mother.

On the one hand, you have to give Zuma Rossdale credit for committing to this character.

On the other hand, he’s running down a street in a sleeveless tee with his face painted like a tiger, and he is not at a carnival or any kind of facepaint-appropriate event. He gets no credit.

These Rossdale children are out of control. Basketball shorts? Public parks? Wearing a shirt that says “Enthusiast” in big letters without more accurately describing the subject of this purported enthusiasm?

Good lord, at least they’re wearing helmets.