Posts tagged tori spelling
Posts tagged tori spelling
Save Baby Hattie. (Do not save Tori’s boots.)
Tori Spelling is showing off her post-babies weight loss in Us Weekly, and boy would I like to see the outtakes from this photoshoot if this is the best shot of Hattie and Finn they could get. Poor Hattie looks like she’s about to be sick — whether from standing barefoot on grass or being involved in this debacle, we’ll never know.
Tori Spelling, Tori Spelling’s dog, and Tori Spelling’s eleven children had a sad end to their road trip when their car broke down yesterday. The only thing worse than being trapped in a car with these people would be being stranded on a roadside with these people.
I just have one question, and that is …
What is a “road trip”? I only travel via Learjet and helicopters.
Tori Spelling’s face is the stuff of nightmares, as is the fact that she has four children now.

Tori Spelling, pure class. I still can’t believe she is about to have four children, while Anderson Cooper has none. Survival of the fittest, my foot.

Tori Spelling posted this picture of her son Liam at a recent party in honor of Stella McDermott, age four.
“Liam insisted he wear a suit and bowtie for Stella’s party. He takes fashion and his role as big brother very seriously! Love him in this summer seersucker and silk bowtie made especially for him.”
Between the bold pattern and that smug smile, I have a sneaking suspicious Liam is going to grow up to be the next Chuck Bass. Or just the next Tori Spelling. I don’t know which is worse.

What fresh hillbilly hell is this?
The Spelling-McDermotts took their children for a walk on Tuesday, with Dean pushing Stella and Liam in a makeshift stroller called a “wheelbarrow,” according to reports.
Honestly, the pet goat on a leash actually classes up this family.

The Spelling-McDermotts took their oldest kids to see Yo Gabba Gabba! this weekend, and Stella’s outfit is … yikes.
It’s like she borrowed costumes from community theatre productions of Annie and Cats, mixed them together, and added some cheap red weave pieces.
Also, Sprite? From a bottle? I don’t go to theatre productions where refreshments are served without garnish.

Tori Spelling’s son Liam recently gave his opinion of the paparazzi:
“I hate paparazzi. Next time I see one, I’m gonna spill soda on him, call him a bitch, and then maybe I’ll kick him in the wiener.”
First of all, words like “bitch” and “wiener” and “soda” are unbecoming for anyone, let alone a four-year-old. Second of all, paparazzi can be annoying, but it’s not their fault your mother is a celebrity! (Although while we’re on that subject, can we find out whose fault it IS and punish them accordingly?)
A group of celebrity moms was recently asked about allowances:
Tori Spelling says, “I definitely think I want our kids to do chores. I think that’ll be important.”
Bethenny Frankel says, “I like $10 for an allowance. Maybe like biweekly, like I pay my assistants. Every two weeks you get $10. Maybe I’ll actually use paychecks to do her payroll.”
And Kourtney Kardashian says, “I think if [kids] do chores, it’s a great thing.”
THIS IS TOO FUNNY!!!!! All of these reality show kids have to DO WORK. I have a personal assistant who takes care of paying my bills and making my bed. Meanwhile, my allowance is $30,000/week and all I have to do is keep Katie’s secrets.