Do not confuse my amused expression with one of endearment. I just love seeing working-class children in their natural habitat (the street). Distressed jeans, distressed hair, an iPhone 4???
I feel like Margaret Mead at this proletariat school.
I’ve got this school uniform thing under control. It’s all about accessories, a good tailored fit, and non-drowsy Benadryl to keep your skin from rebelling against retail fabric.
Meanwhile, Katie thinks leggings are pants. Go figure.
We get it, Carina Castro. You have great hair. But in my six and a half years of life, I haven’t touched my hair as many times as you did in six and a half seconds.
If you’re going to have a career in professional politics, you’re going to have to learn to sit still and keep your tongue in your mouth. Here are some good examples:
Sasha is making bare feet and jeans look casual but classy.
Fashion and waving are nonpartisan issues, and Liza Ryan’s dress is a winner. (But that uneven spray tan is about the fourth-craziest thing to come out of the RNC.)
Time for another edition of “Somebody’s Lying About Suri Cruise.” As the school year (blech) begins, plenty of folks are starting ghastly rumors about me — let’s debunk them, shall we?
I was photographed this weekend near a dog, and everyone assumed that I had a new pet. While it’s no secret I am in the market for a little furry companion, you all should really know better. What I want is a tiny puppy I can name Anderson Cooper and carry around in a Louis Vuitton bag. This dog (Katie’s brother’s) looks like the stray that Little Orphan Annie picked up off the street. I have standards.
Katie got new shoes! False. I made that up, because I so badly want it to be true. I’m actually starting to believe those elfin boots are welded to her feet like the ruby slippers in The Wizard of Oz — only in Katie’s case, the bonding agent is laziness and bad taste, not witch magic. I am worried she is planning to wear them to her runway show next week. Yikes.
Page Six is reporting that my classmates’ parents are … worried that their daughters will be mistaken for me by the paparazzi? According to a source, “The girls will all be in uniforms, and they’re worried their daughters will be mistaken for Suri by the paparazzi outside the school.” I don’t know if this is true, but if it is, wow are they stupid. They really have nothing to worry about — I’m very confident that the paparazzi know the difference between Suri Cruise and a commoner. And there is a difference.
Multiple sources report that I wrote a book. This one is, of course, true, and it’s officially on sale today. Yeah, and those other kindergarteners think they could be confused for me.
