Posts tagged prince william
Posts tagged prince william
The young Royals spent some time at Warner Bros. Studios today, playing with Batman cars and Harry Potter wands. Now I’m even madder than my spells haven’t been working. Or maybe they have — if that baby is born with horns, you’ll know who to thank.
The Duchess of Cambridge told a guy who told reporters, ”I’d like to have a boy and William would like a girl.”
That’s right, she wants a boy. I guess she finally figured out how difficult I can make things for her otherwise. Do not screw me on this, Kate.

In other news, Kate Middleton’s royal baby is due in July. Let’s try to look on the bright side?
1) Less attention for Baby Kardashian-West.
2) The Palace said “baby,” so it’s still not twins.
3) The baby could be born on Princess Diana’s birthday, which even I will admit is precious.
4) Nope, that’s it. That’s all I’ve got.
The Duchess has been released, and even after three days of hospitalized vomiting, she looks better than you and almost as good as me. Let the baby bump pictures commence.
I hate my life.
I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to cry.

My poor sister is taking unnecessary criticism for this photo. While there’s no excuse for that hideous sweatshirt and hideous purse (why does something so small require so many zippers?), I sent her out for the ice cream (and Advil PM and a DVD of Julie Andrews singing “My Favorite Things” on a constant loop) to build up my west coast stockpile.
I can’t accurately predict where I’ll be when the Cambridge baby announcement strikes, and have you been watching them at the Olympics? It could happen any minute.

Is it just me, or do all of William and Kate’s photo ops involve kids these days? I’m beginning to feel like I’m in some kind of psychological thriller, being slowly driven to insanity by photographs of Prince William smiling near a child.
Prince William really knows how to push my buttons. He told Katie Couric:
“I’m still trying to decide [about another Royal Air Force tour of duty]. It’s a really difficult one because I really enjoy my time in the Air Force. But the pressures of my other life are building, and fighting them off or balancing the two of them has proven quite difficult. More importantly, I’d rather like to have children. I’m just very keen to have a family, and both Catherine and I are looking forward to having a family in the future.”
Katie pressed him for the timing of said family, to which he responded, “You won’t get anything out of me. Tight-lipped.”
I mean, what is it with this guy? They dangle this pregnancy in front of my face like it’s some cruel game. Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. Maybe this year, maybe next year. Well, it’s NOT a game to me. This is my life.
Every time I see a picture of Kate Middleton drinking, I can actually feel my blood pressure improving.

Here is a photo of Prince William.
Please take notice of his bald spot, not of how cute he is holding that tiny baby.

Despite Peanutgate, which pretty much ruined the month of November for me, the Duchess of Cambridge is almost certainly not pregnant.
And yet she still insists on standing like this, hands resting excitedly over the womb which will one day host the future king or queen, glowing like she has an amazing secret and some hormones that are seriously working for her. (Look how shiny her hair is!)
I’m starting to take it personally — I think she’s doing it just to remind me she could destroy my entire perfectly-constructed world.
In related news, looks like the Duchess is getting a puppy for Christmas. May that tide her over, baby-wise, for another few years. Also … may the puppy be just a little bit ugly.