Posts tagged north west the person
Posts tagged north west the person
This may be the most covered-up two Kardashians have ever been at the same time.
Kim Kardashian Instagrammed this picture with the caption “#NewStylist.” I assume she means the hairy-armed man, but I kind of wouldn’t be surprised if Kanye has deputized North West to make fashion decisions for Kim. I mean, look at her — she has the “Are you kidding me?” face down.
(And good for her, ‘cause she’s gonna need that one.)
What a perfect family — Kim, Kanye, and the … purse they’re hiding inside that stroller?
Kim Kardashian Instagrammed this picture of North West, probably so she can remember what her baby looks like while Kim is abroad.
It’s pretty funny how after angling so hard to get North West in the pages of Vogue, the Kardashians have had to resort to good, old-fashioned Instagram.
Also, everyone knows Prince George set a new standard for basic white blankets, and this doesn’t come close to meeting it.
Kim and Kanye are in Paris, alone, for Fashion Week, because whatever. Some people are up in arms about the new parents being on the other side of the world from their three-month-old baby, but honestly, three months is when I started asserting my independence.
Also, if you’re planning on spending the next seventeen years and nine months caring about Kim and Kanye’s parenting choices, I have a feeling you should sign up for a Xanax prescription ASAP.
Let’s revisit the darkest time in modern American history. Kim Kardashian appears in CR Fashion Book this month, in photographs taken during her pregnancy with North West the Person.
I guess she just felt like she had already humiliated herself at the Met Ball and everywhere, so what was one more photo shoot?
"Help." - North West
Somehow I missed this story last week, but apparently Kanye West has been angling for North West to appear on the cover of Vogue. But according to Radar Online (and me, her good friend), Anna Wintour would rather eat glass than watch that happen. “Anna is NO fan of Kim or any reality star appearing in the pages of the magazine… Trying to persuade Anna is going to be an uphill battle.” Kanye has also reportedly been reaching out to A-list photographers Annie Leibovitz and Mario Testino, but no one cares.
Instead, North West will debut on Kris, her grandmother’s embarrassing talk show. Never forget:
Kris Jenner pulled a little stunt to get people to watch her talk show this morning. (That’s right. Kris Jenner has a talk show. I’ll pause so you can roll your eyes appropriately.)
This morning she posted “You never know who will stop by our show today! #WatchKris” on the show’s Facebook page, along with this photograph. Of course, tons of Kardashian fans (ick) took the bait and thought Kris had the exclusive on North West. But no, that’s just her stylist’s baby, a living decoy, used to boost ratings for Kris Jenner’s talk show.
Feel free to find any or all of this disgusting. Also, shame on any of you who fell for this. You know Kris and Kim are figuring out how to best monetize Actual North West’s debut, and it’s not going to be on daytime television.
It’s cute how you can spell “the worst” with the letters from North West’s name.— Suri’s Burn Book (@surisburnbook)
Kim and Kanye’s baby has been named, officially, North West. They will call her Nori for short, even though (A) it’s twice as many syllables as her actual name and (B) sorry, but no one is ever going to get past the fact that her name is North West.
Even though I have a feeling that Baby North is going to be just fine, swimming around Scrooge McDuck-style in her stacks of new money, it’s hard not to feel sorry for someone whose parents based such a big decision on “Hey, you know what would be funny?”
Call me if you want the number of my attorney. Or my shrink.