Suri's Burn Book

Suri's Burn Book

Just because you don't have a Ferragamo handbag doesn't mean you can behave like a child. (I'm looking at you, Shiloh.)

Posts tagged mariah carey

139 notes

I know they are treating you like a young member of the Russian Imperial Family, but actually, your father is Nick Cannon and you are wearing jeans. You have no right to this facial expression.

I know they are treating you like a young member of the Russian Imperial Family, but actually, your father is Nick Cannon and you are wearing jeans. You have no right to this facial expression.

Filed under mariah carey Moroccan and Monroe

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The Carey-Cannon twins, Monroe and Moroccan, Dem Babies, Roc and Roe, etc. turned one last weekend. And in true Mariah fashion, it was a real affair — white formalwear, custom pastries, and the Plaza Athenee in Paris.
It does sound wonderful. I love hotels, Paris, and fancy desserts.
Unfortunately, you can’t class up Nick Cannon or his offspring, because those children are definitely sporting pacifiers, which is a major faux pas.
Paris is wasted on people like this.

The Carey-Cannon twins, Monroe and Moroccan, Dem Babies, Roc and Roe, etc. turned one last weekend. And in true Mariah fashion, it was a real affair — white formalwear, custom pastries, and the Plaza Athenee in Paris.

It does sound wonderful. I love hotels, Paris, and fancy desserts.

Unfortunately, you can’t class up Nick Cannon or his offspring, because those children are definitely sporting pacifiers, which is a major faux pas.

Paris is wasted on people like this.

Filed under Moroccan and Monroe mariah carey nick cannon paris

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I don’t know what Nick Cannon is trying to prove with this ultra-serious face. That he can carry two babies with his shoes untied and a hat balanced precariously on his head? Congratulations?
I hope you are proud of yourself, Mariah — if not for marrying this winner, then for getting back into those skinny jeans. You look great, which is more than anyone can say for your husband.

I don’t know what Nick Cannon is trying to prove with this ultra-serious face. That he can carry two babies with his shoes untied and a hat balanced precariously on his head? Congratulations?

I hope you are proud of yourself, Mariah — if not for marrying this winner, then for getting back into those skinny jeans. You look great, which is more than anyone can say for your husband.

Filed under nick cannon mariah carey moroccan and monroe

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I take comfort in the fact that Mariah Carey is suffering even more than I am about this whole Blue Ivy Carter thing. In the wake of the Great Blue Ivy Photo Release of 2012, Mariah quickly uploaded a new picture to her own baby website, touting it as “the first photo from 2012!”
As if we care.
I would love nothing more than to sit back and watch Mariah Carey and Beyonce try to out-baby each other.

I take comfort in the fact that Mariah Carey is suffering even more than I am about this whole Blue Ivy Carter thing. In the wake of the Great Blue Ivy Photo Release of 2012, Mariah quickly uploaded a new picture to her own baby website, touting it as “the first photo from 2012!”

As if we care.

I would love nothing more than to sit back and watch Mariah Carey and Beyonce try to out-baby each other.

Filed under mariah carey beyonce Blue Ivy

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Mariah Carey has a new special, and in it she (of course) talked about her “special” “miracle” babies. About Moroccan:

"It’s so funny … there’s a picture of the two of us together and we look identical and we have the identical smile. I recognize the joy that’s in him. There’s something that was always free about me, it just got stifled as things grew in my career.”

Right. There’s a picture of Mariah Carey and her six-month-old son, and you can’t tell them apart. That’s believable.

Filed under mariah carey

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Well, people, it looks like the media blackout on the Carey-Whatever twins is officially lifted, and boy, are their parents making up for lost time.

After Monroe and Moroccan’s appearance on 20/20, they’ve been just everywhere, and now, they have their own web site, www.dembabies.com. This exists solely to publicize the twins’ existence, complete with a Twitter roll for anyone hashtagging their English-challenged-but-still-somehow-pretentious moniker, #dembabies.

I can’t deny that these children are beautiful — Mariah must be so relieved.

Filed under mariah carey nick cannon

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Life & Style Magazine has an exclusive peek into the Carey-Something twins’s nursery. It’s just as posh as you’d expect from Mariah’s team, but I want to see the sweet little rocking chair where she sits with little Moroccan and Monroe and cuddles them and reads books to them!

Hahahahahaha. As if.

Filed under mariah carey

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Well, the world survived the debut of Mariah Carey’s twins.

First things first: I can’t tell if that baby’s head is too small for his body, or if the jacket just hasn’t been tailored properly.

It’s heartening to see that motherhood clearly hasn’t changed Mariah’s outlook on life — she is just as self-centered as ever. She confirmed (again) that the babies were born to a recording of her song, “Fantasy” — the live version, so they heard the roaring applause. Because if you’re Mariah Carey’s child, you should know right off the bat that she is a Big Deal.

Also, after that interview, you might have the impression that Mariah Carey is the first woman on the planet to give birth. “It’s difficult to understand what I went through,” she said,  ”Because my pregnancy was very unique in terms of what happened to me. I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to walk properly again. It was a huge strain.”

Kate Gosselin had six babies at one time and she can still walk. Unfortunately.

Filed under mariah carey

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Mariah Carey and what’s-his-name are introducing their babies to the universe on Friday night’s 20/20.

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Mariah Carey and what’s-his-name are introducing their babies to the universe on Friday night’s 20/20. In this preview, Mariah sings a song to one of them, and Barbara Walters is just Eating. It. Up.

I feel so betrayed.

Just last month, I had dinner with Barbara, talking about politics and the economy and our mutual fear of Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and now here she is, shooting the breeze with Mariah Carey’s offspring. Reel it in, Barbara.

Also, that baby’s hair is weird and the other one is only wearing one shoe.

Filed under mariah carey barbara walters

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Nick Cannon told People Magazine that he will “absolutely not” allow his children with Mariah Carey, the ridiculously named Moroccan and Monroe, to be in the entertainment industry.

“I just want them to strive for something greater than entertainment. I’m one of those believers in teachers, professors, heart surgeons. That’s what I’m rooting for. If I could get a scientist, that’d be amazing.”

First of all, I think it’s ridiculous when parents look down on the profession that has made them successful and famous. I mean, who do you think Nick Cannon would be if he wasn’t the host of America’s Got Talent? Probably a cater-waiter.

Second of all, there’s no way that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s genes produced a heart surgeon. There’s just no way.

They should be hoping against hope that those babies inherit a smidge of their mother’s talent and their father’s … gosh, I don’t know, persistence?

Filed under mariah carey nick cannon