Posts tagged madonna
Posts tagged madonna
You know, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I don’t hate this. I like David’s unimpressed expression, the cuffs on the shirts, and even Madonna’s pretentious accessories. I don’t know, maybe I got poisoned.
Madonna Instagrammed this photo of her son, Rocco, age thirteen, posing with the liquor from her New Year’s Eve party. These kids clearly think they are the coolest tweens on the planet, which is hilarious because they went to Madonna’s New Year’s Eve party.
I need to know — is it St. Patrick’s Day in Madonnaland or something? Because there is no other excuse for head-to-toe green, and even then, one green accessory would suffice. Ugh, at least David’s greens match; his mother has about seven different shades of black going on.
Mercy looks fine, I guess.
See? Madonna’s daughter Mercy knows that being responsible for one’s own luggage is a steaming pile of nonsense.
Madonna very slyly added — and then deleted — her daughter Lourdes from her upcoming film W.E., about the romance between Wallis Simpson and Edward VIII.
"There was a scene where she played Wally as a young girl, and I just kind of dragged her in at the last minute. It was quite unfair of me what I did and what I asked her to do. But she was really great and then I ended up cutting her out of the film. Ruthless, I know. I said, ‘Sorry babe, you’re on the cutting room floor.’ She took it like a champ.”
This is why one must choose her projects very carefully, and not let family get muddled up in career decisions. Katie begged me to play the younger version of herself in Mad Money, but I refused. Despite my lifelong dream of working with Diane Keaton, I just couldn’t make my debut in such a terrible project.
So Lourdes “Lola” Madonna (at least I think that’s her last name) has a blog, and her mom told Harper’s Bazaar about it:
She loves fashion and style. She helps design the collection. I just stand in the background and watch. I proofread her blogs and edit them and give her a hard time when I think she’s being a lazy writer.
Really, Madonna? You proofread them? Here’s an excerpt from said blog:
HEY!!! LoLa HeRe!
WHAT is newwww????
Something I’m newley (not a word) feelin’ , is hair and makeup tutorials on YouTube. Yeah I’m just the coolest kid. No but for shiz- it’s soooo good, I learned how to do a fishtail braid!!! haha, and there are these girls that have like violet and green hair and they do all this cool-ass makeup.
Ok random but I learned how to make brownies off of YouTube, thanks to Charlie Mc.Donell who can be found at charlieissocoollike ( that’s his YouTube channel).
Oooooh ok, so I wanna tell you about styling and shooting the Fall Material Girl Campaign! As you know it’s still with Kelly Osbourne, which is BOSS!!! And I’m SUPERRRR excited about it!!! It’s pretty awesome!
I don’t think anyone is proofreading this drivel, and if I was Madonna, I definitely wouldn’t be taking credit for this copy edit job. The only people more in need of an AP Stylebook are Ashton Kutcher and Apple Martin. (Seriously, that second-grader’s spelling is atrocious.)
For the record, my mother is not proofreading these entries. As if.
Madonna’s youngest children left a Kabbalah service in New York last week very enthusiastically. I can understand high-tailing it out of a fringe-religion event; I’ve run screaming from more Scientology meetings than I can count.
What I can’t understand is the amount of white these children are wearing after Labor Day. Cold-weather tights shouldn’t even come in white—what a fashion oxymoron.
There are so many things that disturb me about this picture.
First of all, there is nothing I hate more than having sand in my bathing suit, so I’m almost getting hives just watching David and Mercy.
Next, there’s the man groping Madonna in full view of her children. Tom and Katie would NEVER touch each other in my presence.
Finally, this “man” is 24 years old, while Madonna is 53. He is closer in age to that kid wearing a helmet and dressed as a ladybug than to the person he is touching inappropriately.
(That’s right, people. I learned subtraction!)
Is it just me, or does David Ritchie look kind of like Black Voldemort?