Suri's Burn Book

Heidi’s hair, Henry’s shoes, Leni’s white lace mullet dress after Labor Day. The sheer indecency of Justin Bieber screen-printed shirts. 

Not that I would ever be seen at a Justin Bieber concert, but this is just one more reason to stay far, far away. Imagine what all that retail smells like.

Heidi Klum says the silliest things sometimes. 

“We have a rule in the house. Rule No. 1 is always to look cool, and rule No. 2 is don’t forget about rule No. 1. We have other rules … but the No. 1 rule is to always look cool.”

Really? Heidi Klum thinks her kids look cool? Leni is wearing a tie-dye dress that could only have come from Target or 1998. It has a rhinestone peace symbol applique, for crying out loud. 

Heidi also told the Hollywood Reporter that Katie Holmes “has great style.” So that explains a lot, I guess.

Seal and his daughters all have really strange taste in pant length.

Also, those shoes Seal is wearing must have been purchased at a warlock thrift store or Target or something. They’re almost as bad as Lou’s crocs.

Today is the 100th anniversary of the founding of Girl Scouts. (I would join, but I just really don’t like handling small bills, camping, or the color brown.)

Now stop squinting, Leni Klum-Seal, or you, too, will look 100 before you know it.