Suri's Burn Book

Posts tagged kingston rossdale

Here’s a photo of Kingston Rossdale touching a live fish with his bare hands and ruining any possibility of shaking my hand, ever.

The only thing grosser than fish-grabbing is … well, those pants, actually. Put this outfit on a misleading doppelganger in a Where’s Waldo picture and never, under any circumstances, wear anything with a drawstring in public again.

Well, this is awkward.

As first reported by People, Kingston Rossdale and Maddox Jolie-Pitt were photographed wearing the same coat this week.

Obviously they are wearing the piece very differently. Maddox, as usual, is taking himself way too seriously and using the jacket to reflect a professorial style. Kingston, with his heavy necklace and leopard-print jeggings, looks like he should be carrying a lit cigarillo in one hand and speaking in a Cockney accent.

But, gosh, how embarrassing for Kingston to be seen wearing anything also worn by the Jolie-Pitts. Once, when I thought Zahara had the same Marc Jacobs sweater dress I did, I set mine on fire.

Throw a scarf on Kingston Rossdale and you’ve got yourself a pretty convincing Fourth Doctor. Be still my heart.

(Yes, I made a Doctor Who reference. It’s timeless and British, like a Burberry trench coat or taxation without representation.)

So I guess Kingston Rossdale is going to be hipster Harry Potter for Halloween. He has seriously never been more attractive to me.

I wish I knew where to begin with these photographs of the Jolie-Pitts hanging out with Gwen Stefani and her children.

There’s Shiloh, making it clear just how inexperienced with makeup she is. (That blush would be all wrong for her complexion even if she had applied it correctly.) At least she’s trying?

There’s Kingston Rossdale wearing what looks like lipstick all over his face.

There’s a fresh-faced Zahara, who obviously didn’t participate in these childish shenanigans. (I knew I loved her for a reason.)

Let’s just be glad these freaks found each other and call it a day.

Kingston Rossdale is wearing a shirt that says “Working Class Hero.” What an oxymoron. Try something a little more accurate next time, like “Poorly Dressed Half-Hair” or “Help Me With My Sock Situation.”