Posts tagged kim kardashian
Posts tagged kim kardashian
No one would blame Kim Kardashian for staying home, putting her feet up, and wearing leggings as pants for the next two months. At this point, we’d all prefer the break. But, no, she has made commitments to appearances and apparently to wearing dresses that aren’t her size anymore, and she will keep them.
Everyone knows I’ll wear uncomfortable shoes and dresses as fashion requires such sacrifices, but even I wouldn’t do this to myself. She looks miserable.
I’m going to regret what I’m about to say, but here it is —
Kim should take a page from Jessica Simpson’s book and just go nuts.
Snooki, apparently now a baby expert, has ideas about what Kim and Kanye should name their baby: Kougar for a boy and Kat for a girl, “so it can still be in the family business.”
I mean, those can’t be any worse than what they’re actually going to choose for Baby Kardashian-West. Honestly, nothing can make this baby’s life any more embarrassing than it’s already going to be.
There’s a rumor going around that Kim Kardashian sent the Duchess of Cambridge a baby gift, since the two are both due in July and that made Kim “incredibly excited.” (First of all, Kim, you shouldn’t be incredibly excited — this means that your child, if it’s lucky, will be the third-most talked about delivery in July, after Kate’s baby and Kate’s placenta.)
Kim seems to think this will give her and the Duchess something to bond over, kind of like how she went around her wedding chanting, “This is our version of the Royal Wedding!” (Please. It was in a tent.)
But anyway, I guess if you see Kate in a leopard print “maternity” jumpsuit stretched too tight over her backside, you’ll know where she got it.
Oh, honey, no.
The rumor going around today is that Kim and Kanye are considering the baby name “North.” As in “North West.” For as dumb as these two are, I just can’t imagine they’d do something quite this dumb, and here’s why:
There is no way that Kim and Kanye aren’t going to give their baby a “unique” (stupid) “name” (word). Three words: search engine optimization.
Kim Kardashian bought Penelope Disick a miniature Balenciaga bag. It’s not that I’m against kids having designer handbags (I’m very pro-designer handbag), but this is just a joke. First of all, she captioned this on Instagram with “Awe Penelope is wearing the little Balenciaga bag I got her for Christmas!” And, she’s not wearing it. Her dumb-as-rocks aunt is holding it near her.
Second of all, that bag is too small to hold anything bigger than a cotton ball. If it can’t fit a credit card and a lipstick, it’s not a handbag.
In a round-up of stupid things pregnant celebrities are saying this week…
Kim Kardashian says she won’t stop wearing tight clothes throughout her pregnancy: “I think because I have big boobs it could make me look heavier if I don’t, like, show off my waist or something.” Okay, Kim. Whatever you say. But when you can see the fabric stretched across your butt, it may be time to rethink that fashion philosophy.
Meanwhile, Jessica Simpson has reportedly chosen a baby name: Ace. No word yet on if she’s expecting a boy or a girl; knowing Jessica, it doesn’t matter.
Kourtney and Kim Kardashian were on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, talking about all things baby. Here are a few of the highlights:
I don’t think Kim understands how “two truths and a lie” works, because only one of those things isn’t complete malarkey. Either that, or she doesn’t know what the word “private” means.
In news that will surprise absolutely no one, Kim Kardashian’s baby will appear on her reality shows. E! released a statement saying:
“Like so many Kardashian fans, we love it when this close-knit family gets even bigger. We look forward to sharing the joy as they prepare for more diapers, more bottle [sic] and without a doubt, more fabulous baby wear.”
Gag me. Does Kim know that at the end of all of this, she’s going to be legally responsible for an actual human life, not just the free clothes it gets?
2013 is going to be quite a year.
I’d say let’s hope it’ll be an improvement on 2012, but I know better. Kate Middleton’s pregnant. Jessica Simpson’s pregnant.
And now Kim Kardashian is pregnant with Kanye West’s child.
God help us all.
Happy New Year.