Suri's Burn Book

I see this hairdo every single day, so now you know how hard it is to be me.

Look who’s on the cover of Allure this month, telling the magazine that she’s “open to it” when asked if she wants more children.

Newsflash: I am not open to it. 

She did, however, tell Allure that she has nothing to do with my personal style, because I guess someone was still confused about that.

Okay, Katie, let’s get a couple of things straight, because you are spreading some nonsense around town.

“My daughter Suri loves make-up. She’s only six! Usually I can’t find my make-up when her friends come over.”

I would never hide Katie’s makeup. She needs it, I have my own, and sharing is how you get pinkeye.

“I tell her to be subtle with it. ‘You can always put more on. Start with one product. You wouldn’t wear all your jewellery at once.’”

Um, she didn’t give me that advice — she got that advice from me, after three bad experiences with bronzer and silver eyeshadow.

Also, I’ve taken up tennis.

There is very little I loathe more than giving presents to other people.

Every morning, she waits to get dressed until she sees what I’m wearing. I’m over it.

Happy birthday, Katie. Maybe your thirty-fifth year will be the one where I start wanting to be seen with you.

Doubtful.

Happy Thanksgiving. Wish me luck.

Katie still hasn’t quite figured out texting. Or accessorizing.

This is my best Katie Holmes impression.