Posts tagged kanye west
Posts tagged kanye west
What a perfect family — Kim, Kanye, and the … purse they’re hiding inside that stroller?
Kim and Kanye are in Paris, alone, for Fashion Week, because whatever. Some people are up in arms about the new parents being on the other side of the world from their three-month-old baby, but honestly, three months is when I started asserting my independence.
Also, if you’re planning on spending the next seventeen years and nine months caring about Kim and Kanye’s parenting choices, I have a feeling you should sign up for a Xanax prescription ASAP.
Somehow I missed this story last week, but apparently Kanye West has been angling for North West to appear on the cover of Vogue. But according to Radar Online (and me, her good friend), Anna Wintour would rather eat glass than watch that happen. “Anna is NO fan of Kim or any reality star appearing in the pages of the magazine… Trying to persuade Anna is going to be an uphill battle.” Kanye has also reportedly been reaching out to A-list photographers Annie Leibovitz and Mario Testino, but no one cares.
Instead, North West will debut on Kris, her grandmother’s embarrassing talk show. Never forget:
It’s cute how you can spell “the worst” with the letters from North West’s name.— Suri’s Burn Book (@surisburnbook)
Kim and Kanye’s baby has been named, officially, North West. They will call her Nori for short, even though (A) it’s twice as many syllables as her actual name and (B) sorry, but no one is ever going to get past the fact that her name is North West.
Even though I have a feeling that Baby North is going to be just fine, swimming around Scrooge McDuck-style in her stacks of new money, it’s hard not to feel sorry for someone whose parents based such a big decision on “Hey, you know what would be funny?”
Call me if you want the number of my attorney. Or my shrink.
Snooki, apparently now a baby expert, has ideas about what Kim and Kanye should name their baby: Kougar for a boy and Kat for a girl, “so it can still be in the family business.”
I mean, those can’t be any worse than what they’re actually going to choose for Baby Kardashian-West. Honestly, nothing can make this baby’s life any more embarrassing than it’s already going to be.
The rumor going around today is that Kim and Kanye are considering the baby name “North.” As in “North West.” For as dumb as these two are, I just can’t imagine they’d do something quite this dumb, and here’s why:
There is no way that Kim and Kanye aren’t going to give their baby a “unique” (stupid) “name” (word). Three words: search engine optimization.
In news that will surprise absolutely no one, Kim Kardashian’s baby will appear on her reality shows. E! released a statement saying:
"Like so many Kardashian fans, we love it when this close-knit family gets even bigger. We look forward to sharing the joy as they prepare for more diapers, more bottle [sic] and without a doubt, more fabulous baby wear.”
Gag me. Does Kim know that at the end of all of this, she’s going to be legally responsible for an actual human life, not just the free clothes it gets?
2013 is going to be quite a year.
I’d say let’s hope it’ll be an improvement on 2012, but I know better. Kate Middleton’s pregnant. Jessica Simpson’s pregnant.
And now Kim Kardashian is pregnant with Kanye West’s child.
God help us all.
Happy New Year.