Suri's Burn Book

Snooki, apparently now a baby expert, has ideas about what Kim and Kanye should name their baby: Kougar for a boy and Kat for a girl, “so it can still be in the family business.” 

I mean, those can’t be any worse than what they’re actually going to choose for Baby Kardashian-West. Honestly, nothing can make this baby’s life any more embarrassing than it’s already going to be.

The rumor going around today is that Kim and Kanye are considering the baby name “North.” As in “North West.” For as dumb as these two are, I just can’t imagine they’d do something quite this dumb, and here’s why:

There is no way that Kim and Kanye aren’t going to give their baby a “unique” (stupid) “name” (word). Three words: search engine optimization.

In news that will surprise absolutely no one, Kim Kardashian’s baby will appear on her reality shows. E! released a statement saying:

“Like so many Kardashian fans, we love it when this close-knit family gets even bigger. We look forward to sharing the joy as they prepare for more diapers, more bottle [sic] and without a doubt, more fabulous baby wear.”

Gag me. Does Kim know that at the end of all of this, she’s going to be legally responsible for an actual human life, not just the free clothes it gets?

2013 is going to be quite a year.

I’d say let’s hope it’ll be an improvement on 2012, but I know better. Kate Middleton’s pregnant. Jessica Simpson’s pregnant.

And now Kim Kardashian is pregnant with Kanye West’s child.

God help us all.

Happy New Year.