Suri's Burn Book

Just because you don't have a Ferragamo handbag doesn't mean you can behave like a child. (I'm looking at you, Shiloh.)

Posts tagged jennifer garner

50 notes

Excuse me for not getting overly excited about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s new baby. They had a boy, Samuel Garner Affleck, earlier this week.
It’s a big deal for a few reasons:
1) The Afflecks had made it pretty clear that while they would let a son live under their roof, they really just wanted another daughter. Oops.
2) Wow, their kids’ names (Violet, Seraphina, and Samuel) just do not go together at all.
3) Look at these people. It’s not a big deal.

Excuse me for not getting overly excited about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s new baby. They had a boy, Samuel Garner Affleck, earlier this week.

It’s a big deal for a few reasons:

1) The Afflecks had made it pretty clear that while they would let a son live under their roof, they really just wanted another daughter. Oops.

2) Wow, their kids’ names (Violet, Seraphina, and Samuel) just do not go together at all.

3) Look at these people. It’s not a big deal.

Filed under jennifer garner

34 notes

Jennifer Garner’s clothes and career can both be best described as “shapeless.”

Also, Starbucks really jumped the gun on the red cups this year. Putting them out in early November just devalues the entire red-cup concept. I myself won’t acknowledge the holiday season until the Third Avenue Bloomingdale’s puts up its Christmas window display. 

It’s okay, though, Starbucks. I still love you.

Filed under jennifer garner seraphina affleck Suri Cruise

32 notes

Jennifer Garner went on Ellen and said she wants her third baby to be another girl.

“Three girls is a great way to grow up. I’m one of three girls and my little sister is awesome, so I just want a Susannah. It would be so weird to have a boy.”

First of all, have you seen Violet Affleck? This kid’s going to be weird no matter what.

Second of all, what if this baby is a boy? He’ll grow up and Google his parents and find out they didn’t want him. Actually, scratch that. Googling Ben Affleck is going to come up with far more unsavory results than this.

Filed under jennifer garner

19 notes

I am just so proud. Sure, their hair is messy and they’re still favoring Crocs, and their mom is wearing a shirt with a tail and pants that contain an inordinate amount of Lycra, but look at Violet and Seraphina’s cute little coordinating dresses!

The possibility of matching outfits almost makes me wish I had a younger sister. (Not really. I was just saying that to be nice.)

Filed under jennifer garner violet affleck seraphina affleck

42 notes

Oh, Mrs. Affleck. You know, logic suggests you should wait to rent a private plane until you can also afford a good pair of pants. Or, I don’t know, a belt.

I have to say, though, I appreciate Violet’s commitment to purple, and I understand the urge to dress comfortably for long flights. But let’s not kid ourselves. Who does private jet style best?

Filed under violet affleck jennifer garner suri cruise

32 notes

Thank goodness Jennifer Garner is now officially pregnant. It’s been obvious she was carrying some bonus pounds for a while—at least now she has a good reason. (Not a great reason, mind you—keep in mind that Katie only gained 8 pounds when she was pregnant with me, and I weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces.)

This baby better hope it’s a boy, just so this family can get some new clothes for a change. Another mouth to feed at the Garner-Affleck house … pretty soon, they’re going to need their supplies airlifted in. PLEASE SEND COUTURE AND HAIRBRUSHES.

Filed under jennifer garner

19 notes

Even Violet Affleck’s American Girl doll is underdressed, but I love how she experiments with color. Target tights really do come in a lot of colors! I’m amused by Violet’s doll choice, though—I’m somewhat of an expert and Violet is so clearly a Molly.

On another note, it’s getting harder to feel bad for Mrs. Affleck getting called pregnant all the time when she wears shirts like this. Did she dress up as a prairie doll in the store and forget to change?

Filed under violet affleck jennifer garner

24 notes

It seems every three months there is speculation that Jennifer Garner is pregnant. It’s time everyone accepted the fact that Mrs. Affleck just can’t dress herself.

Almost everyone is rich enough to afford jeans without holes.

Filed under jennifer garner