Suri's Burn Book

Kingston Rossdale was spotted this weekend in his third Halloween costume of the season. This one seems the truest to his personality — dark, mysterious, a little frightening, a mix of lowbrow (sneakers) and highbrow (a cape), perfectly-tailored hair, not-perfectly-tailored clothes.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Kingston Rossdale turned out to be an actual vampire.

The difference between Kingston and Zuma Rossdale is that Kingston knows when class is called for. He’s in dress shoes and a button-down, and is sporting a surprisingly well-coiffed hairstyle, as he celebrates his mother’s birthday with dinner.

Zuma, though, sported sneakers and a tank top, and accessorized with a belt that’s not doing its job and what appears to be a sippy cup.

You have to dress for the occasion, even when the guest of honor is your mother. And Zuma is dressed for a redneck picnic.

The Rossdales are getting a very early start on Halloween, it appears. Kingston’s choice surprises me because I guess I imagined that his cowboy style would be more like Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and less like Woody from Toy Story.

I’m even more confused by Gwen’s costume. I just cannot figure out who (or what) she’s supposed to be in those pants. A sumo wrestler on safari?

Kingston Rossdale has blue hair now. Why am I not surprised?

I imagine that Kingston, Katy Perry, and Effie Trinket have a conference call once a month to make sure they’re not doubling up on hair colors. Kingston obviously gets whatever is left over, because this dye job is an embarrassment to his colorist. Look at those roots.

If not for the off-brand snacks and that ridiculous hat, I’d almost believe that Gwen Stefani is a good mother.

These Rossdale children are out of control. Basketball shorts? Public parks? Wearing a shirt that says “Enthusiast” in big letters without more accurately describing the subject of this purported enthusiasm?

Good lord, at least they’re wearing helmets.