Suri's Burn Book

Flynn Bloom, what is this look? Are you a hipster? Are you a surfer in winterwear?

Also, why are you walking on such a cracked-up sidewalk? I thought you were rich.

Flynn Bloom is in a better mood than he was last week, but this outfit seems a little too thrown together to impress me. I’ve never looked that happy about sneakers, printed sweatpants, and a lame cap.

Fall fashion done right (but kind of unnecessarily pouty), by Flynn Bloom.

The July issue of British Vogue features Miranda Kerr and Flynn Bloom looking very cute on a hillside. It’s all quite lovely, but as a feminist, I am appalled by this double standard. I ask you, could a woman appear in Vogue with arms and a back as pudgy as this?

Men have it so easy.

Aww, how cute. What a wonderful moment of father-son bonding between Orlando and Flynn Bloom. What a nice …

I’m sorry. I can’t go on.

Flynn’s mismatched stripes are one thing. This child wears so many stripes, it was only a matter of time before he doubled up. (Sometimes you can’t excuse the choice, but you can at least explain it.)

But Orlando’s green pants … I don’t even know what to say. Those are only appropriate if you are going to a Halloween party dressed as a post-foreclosure Tinkerbell.

Also, sand creeps me out.

Miranda Kerr and her son, Flynn Bloom, headline WHO Magazine’s “Most Beautiful People 2012” issue.

Is Flynn wearing a plain white T-shirt for his magazine cover debut? And a necklace?

He’s not even looking into the camera! Doesn’t he know he has to make eye contact with readers if he wants to make an impression? Come on, Flynn.

I won’t get into WHO’s blatant oversight of true beauty (ahem), but that’s only because I have no idea what this magazine is, and therefore it’s clearly not worth wasting my time on.