Suri's Burn Book

At last night’s Screen Actors Guild Awards, Claire Danes told E! News that her infant son Cyrus (real name) is “getting fat.” “He’s getting rolls … thank goodness they’ve arrived.”

Look, I know that fat babies are healthy babies, but you really gotta be careful or you’ll end up with a Harper Beckham situation on your hands. No one has seen her in months because Victoria can’t pick her up anymore, and she had to go back to carrying handbags as accessories.