Posts tagged beyonce
Posts tagged beyonce
I wouldn’t get in one of these bubbly germ bathtubs unless it had been drained, scrubbed clean, and refilled with Evian. I don’t know what Blue Ivy’s standards are.
E! is “confirming" through "exclusive sources" that Beyoncé is indeed pregnant with Baby #2. Honestly, this is just one big yawn.
Here’s the thing. When Beyoncé announced her pregnancy with Blue Ivy, she did it in the showiest way possible. Her entire pregnancy was a Beyoncé attentionfest.
Then that baby turned out to be Blue Ivy, who everyone knows — even if they won’t say it out loud — is BORING. Now they know better than to make a big deal about it, because they’re just going to dress the baby in jeans and cheap t-shirts anyway.
So, no, I don’t feel threatened by Beyoncé’s second baby, if that’s what you were expecting.
There’s a rumor going around that Beyonce is pregnant — or, at least, that she’s going to be pregnant soon. According to People, “Beyoncé and Jay are planning for another baby after her tour is over and things calm down just a bit.”
A year ago, when Blue Ivy was just an infant full of promise, I would have quaked in fear at this rumor. Now that she’s a toddler who wears jeans and cotton/poly blends … whatever, Beyoncé.
Blue Ivy Carter, tallest sixteen-month-old ever, got onstage with Beyonce at her concert last night. Because the Carters want Blue’s life to be private, except when they can create a spectacle.
UPDATE: Not Blue Ivy. Just a fan. Because people bring toddlers to Beyonce concerts.
Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Blue Ivy “Miniature Jay-Z” Carter are in France for the Mrs. Carter world tour this week, where they continue to disappoint in the fashion department. Miniature Jay-Z is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, which I am pretty sure is a felony in Paris.
If it’s not, it should be.
Blue Ivy Carter was spotted in Brooklyn (haha) this weekend with her mom, and oh my gosh look how tall she is! Look at her workboots. Look at her ability to exist that close to a public trash can without freaking out.
She’s not fooling me into thinking she’s tougher than me, though.
Okay, fine, she might be tougher than me.
Beyoncé, private unless she is promoting something, has shown Blue Ivy Carter’s face for the first time, and boy does this child look like Jay-Z. Was Beyoncé even there?
Of course, this is what I had hoped for when Beyoncé was pregnant, because it was hilarious imagining Jay-Z’s features on a little baby. But dammit, she makes it work.
In this month’s Vogue, Beyoncé talks about Blue Ivy Carter, saying, “She’s my road dog. She’s my homey, my best friend.”
She also told Vogue that she wants Blue to have a normal childhood, including running through sprinklers and having lemonade stands, all that classic Affleck stuff.
Yuck. I could not be less interested in selling underpriced lemonade to strangers, getting wet grass on my body, or being anyone’s “road dog.” I’m starting to feel bad for Blue Ivy, and that is not a feeling I am comfortable or familiar with.
Fame is a balance between being mysterious and being available to your adoring public. Beyonce wants Blue Ivy to be famous, but she also wants her to be exclusively mysterious — hence, the occasional blurry photo of Blue’s back posted to Beyonce’s website.
It’s not working. I’ll say it now—
Blue Ivy Carter is boring.
This just in: Beyonce is definitely not pregnant.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved, and that includes all the times there were pregnancy rumors about my own mother. I knew Katie wouldn’t betray me like that, but Beyonce … she and I have issues.