Posts tagged angelina jolie
Posts tagged angelina jolie
Angelina Jolie is starting the press marathon for Maleficent, the film about the
Nighttime Version of Angelina Jolie Evil Witch from Sleeping Beauty.
She told Entertainment Weekly that Vivienne was the only Jolie-Pitt who wasn’t afraid of her face, so she got to play Young Aurora.
“When Pax saw me for the first time, he ran away and got upset — and I thought he was kidding, so I was pretending to chase him until I actually found him crying. I had to take off pieces [of the makeup] in front of him to show him it was all fake and not freak out so much.”
I don’t know, this kind of makes me more afraid of Vivienne than Angelina. It’s like sharing a house with Shiloh Jolie-Pitt her whole life has hardened her to any terrors life can throw her way. She’s unshakeable.
The Jolie-Pitts have been in Australia for forever, and it just makes me feel safer knowing that their cotton tees, shorts with pockets, and terrifyingly skinny arms are far, far away from me.
Does this family know that clothes come in colors?
Angelina Jolie gave a very touching speech while accepting an honorary Oscar for her humanitarian efforts, choking up as she addressed Brad and Maddox in the audience.
I’m very confused by my feelings about this. On the one hand, Angelina has done a lot of work for women and children around the world, and she probably does deserve this award. (I mean, who else are they gonna give it to? Miley?)
But on the other hand, she’s a scary smug witch and she’s just the worst. And if she’s such a good humanitarian, why can’t she do something about the crisis in Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s closet?
With this hat, it’s time to officially give up on Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. She is seven years, three months, and twenty-two days old — I can’t believe I lasted this long.
Can’t remember the last time I saw all six Jolie-Pitts in the same place. Zahara looks great — love the shoes — and Knox looks pretty snazzy for a long flight, as well. Can’t really see what Shiloh is wearing, but I assume it’s terrible and covered in food stains.
Some things never change.
World War Z premiered in London over the weekend, and they could only scare up two Jolie-Pitt children to support the film. Not a good sign.
Brad and Angelina have a wine now, I guess. Because why not? It’s called the Miraval Rose 2012, it sells for $139 for six bottles, and I hear it tastes like sacrificial pony blood with traces of greasy beard and afternotes of skank. It’s not for everyone.
Have you been missing the Jolie-Pitts lately? Me either, but there’s news about them anyway.
According to an Us Weekly pizza restaurant source, the children are holy terrors in public. (Not that this is really news.)
"The place shuts down for the entire night and the kids raise a ruckus. They jump on tables and even throw food at each other! Brad and Angelina just sit there and talk to one another while the children run around in circles.” Apparently, Brad and Angelina just want to “let the kids enjoy themselves.”
I’ve always suspected that dining with the Jolie-Pitts would be a little like a prison riot, but I never imagined it would be this bad.
Meanwhile, the Jolie-Pitt children have already gotten in their letters to Santa. According to a postal worker in the English countryside, “It was so cute. All the children sent messages to Father Christmas and were absolutely beautifully behaved.”
Either she just saw a pack of dirty peasants and assumed they were the Jolie-Pitts, or these kids know how to turn on the charm for Santa. Not that I don’t know a little bit about modifying behavior in order to get presents, but … ugh, these kids are terrible and I hope they have an awful Christmas.
This is the saddest display of Halloween enthusiasm I’ve seen in my entire life. Looks like that six-legged unicorn has about had it.