Suri's Burn Book

According to reports, Vivienne Jolie-Pitt will play the child version of Princess Aurora (AKA Briar Rose, AKA Sleeping Beauty) in Maleficent.

You know, when I first read this, I was filled with jealousy. If anyone should be playing a Disney princess, it’s me. I’m basically an expert. But upon further thought, I’m just amused.

Watching a Jolie-Pitt try to play someone (A) beautiful and (B) capable of lying still for long periods of time is going to be hilarious. I know this movie is supposed to be Sleeping Beauty retold from the villain’s perspective, but it’s an interesting risk to make Aurora a straight-up gnome.

Are we sure this is Angelina Jolie as Maleficent and not just Angelina Jolie in the dark of night? I guess I just feel like if this is what Brad Pitt sees every morning, I’d understand why he’s too afraid to leave.

So I guess when I suggested that Angelina Jolie is a modern-day Maleficent, I must have subconsciously known that she had already signed on to play the evil queen in films. I certainly don’t pay that much conscious attention to her film choices.

Angelina’s Maleficent movie starts filming in June, and she is ready to go.

“I’m having a lot of fun. I’ve already got my horns fitted. My kids are very happy.”

I just assumed she’s had the horns for years, hand-crafted from the bones of former suitors and their jilted wives. Also, I find it hilarious that her children are excited to see their mother as a witch. They’re probably just proud that she’s finally found a role she’s so well-suited for.