Posts tagged Jennifer Lopez
Posts tagged Jennifer Lopez
Max and Emme look really happy about this situation, don’t they? Gosh, and I thought my life was embarrassing…
Jennifer Lopez always looks so happy to be a mom.

Matching outfits is the number-two reason I’m glad I don’t have a twin. (Number one, of course, is sharing attention.) Let’s be honest — a knit capelet requires a certain amount of sassy attitude that Emme Lo-Anthony has just never had.
Also, is Jennifer Lopez wearing a leopard-print housecoat outside? I knew she was getting desperate, but I had no idea just how much.

Jennifer Lopez’s daughter Emme got an invitation to the Chanel show in Paris, which is a real coup for someone who has done nothing to show that she brings anything unique to fashion.
Emme’s outfit is serviceable, I guess, even if her pinks don’t match and the Chanel logo is plastered over every piece of it. (Hello! People are supposed to recognize Chanel even without the logo!) She does seem to have her discerning look down, which is critical. At least she has that going for her.
Happy 43rd birthday, Jennifer Lopez — enjoy celebrating it with all of the children in your life. If only “aging with dignity” could be purchased at Barneys.

Jennifer Lopez took her children — Max, Emme, and Casper — to see the Easter Bunny yesterday.
Is this a thing now? You go and sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap and ask for things? Kids these days will do anything for presents. I would never degrade myself by begging like that — why would I, when I have a purse full of credit cards in Tom Cruise’s name?
Meanwhile, wow are those Marc Anthony’s kids or what. Emme, I’m sorry his face genes were so dominant, but at least you didn’t get your mom’s fashion sense. That is a white sweatsuit with black sneakers. I repeat, a white sweatsuit with black sneakers.
Jennifer Lopez recently revealed her terrible nickname for her twin children, Max and Emme, to Jay Leno:
“They’re my coconuts! That comes from when they were little and in their cribs and started growing hair. It looked just like a coconut to me. They both look like coconuts.”
Ugh, that’s almost as bad as when Tom tried to call me “sweetheart.” Just … no, Father. Although, to be honest, “coconuts” is a little bit fair.

Oh, Emme. One day your mother will realize that she is A MOTHER and will stop baring her midriff in public. Won’t she? On second thought, maybe you should look into becoming an emancipated minor. I can send you the literature.

I feel sorry for Max and Emme because they have Jennifer for a mom (selfish) and Marc for a dad (unfortunate genes), and because their parents are going through a divorce. That’s rough.
But I feel sorry for MYSELF because my damn mother is the face of Ann Taylor while these kids’ mom is the face of GUCCI. GUCCI. What’s the best I can get out of Katie’s endorsement deal? An accessories shoot for Ann Taylor Loft?
And then I barfed.