Posts tagged January Jones
Posts tagged January Jones
Did January and Xander Dane Jones just escape from a trailer park community, or is this just how they look?
Seeing a wealthy person going barefoot in a Target is as unsettling as that time Vanessa Hudgens got invited to the Oscars.
Here’s a picture you never knew you needed to see — Joshua Jackson holding January Jones’s baby, Xander Dane Jones, in a pool. (That’s January in the hat and the frown.) I just have so many questions about this situation.
How are Joshua Jackson and January Jones friends?
Why don’t Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger have their own babies yet? I mean, look at that. It’s an awkward angle, and it’s still the best thing I’ve seen all week.
Most importantly, can we all now agree that Katie Holmes is the dumbest person on this or any continent? In another universe, that guy could’ve been my dad.
I hate everything.
And now, for news no one cares about.
Minnie Driver has revealed (kind of) who the father of her three-year-old son Henry is: a writer on her series, The Riches.
“We weren’t together and he wasn’t directly in the business, so I chose to protect him and not have a rain of publicity. He’s not famous. There’s no big story. I don’t need to protect him any more. He can fend for himself. He’s a grown-up.”
This would’ve been a big deal three years ago, but now … meh.
So watch your window of opportunity, January Jones. If you want to get press for publicly scold-revealing your baby’s father, now’s the time to do it. (It’s totally Jason Sudeikis, right?)
So until the world positively identifies the father of Xander Dane Jones, I think it’s my prerogative to speculate wildly, without any real evidence.
My first guess? Shia LaBeouf. Definitely.
So January Jones had her baby. Good for her, raising little Xander Dane Jones all by herself. (That’s what she named him, by the way—Xander Dane Jones. Yep.)
Like all educated Americans, I watch Mad Men, and I am terrified of January Jones. I’m sure she’s a nice person, but isn’t everyone just a little bit afraid that she’s going to be a frightening parent?
I am looking forward to seeing pictures of Xander Dane Jones, so that the inevitable speculation about his paternity can begin in earnest.
There has been a slew of celebrity paternity issues in the press lately. January Jones continues to refuse to name the father of her unborn baby, Ryan Phillippe is being credited for fathering a kid, and now Linda Evangelista is claiming that Salma Hayek’s husband is HER baby’s father.
Listen. To a certain extent, paternity rumors can be a good thing. It adds a hint of mystery and intrigue to an otherwise textbook pregnancy. You may recall that Katie’s pregnancy with me was filled with rumors and hearsay, but no one now disputes that Tom is, regrettably, my father.
But this? This is all just so trashy. If I wanted to hear about child support, paternity tests, and proletariat adultery, I’d visit Tom’s extended family in Kentucky.