Posts tagged Jaden Smith
Posts tagged Jaden Smith
In a battle of wills between Jaden Smith and Penelope Disick, my money is actually on Penelope. And that’s saying something.
Go home, Smiths. These Hunger Games premiere poses make it extremely clear that Willow and Jaden would not make it past the cornucopia.
Kim and Kanye should be crossing their fingers that Jaden Smith and Kylie Jenner get married, because they would totally take the Most Annoying/Smug/Entitled prize away from them. I mean, there’s not really a prize for that, unless you count my never-ending loathing.
People have been enjoying the top photo of the Smith Family candidly reacting to Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke’s VMA performance last night, but come on, everybody. They also posed for the second picture. And the other two. They have no right to side-eye anyone.
Kylie Jenner Instagrammed this photo of her with rumored boyfriend Jaden Smith, along with the nonsensical caption, “Although we can’t remember exactly when we met, I couldn’t be more grateful that we did. You understand me like not many do and you always know the right time to make me laugh. And no, you haven’t failed once to catch me when I attempt to walk or open the door on my every entrance. Happy birthday to my best friend.”
"To catch me when I attempt to walk"? How hard is it? Even Maxwell Drew Johnson can walk.
I am so ready for the After Earth press tour to be over, so I can stop seeing and hearing about the Smiths for a while. I’ve never seen his movies (obviously), but considering Jaden Smith only knows this one facial expression, I can’t imagine he’s a very good actor.
Jaden Smith is turning fifteen in July, and he may be getting the one present I’ve been lobbying for for years: legal emancipation.
“He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place, like ooh.”
Look, I’d want Jaden Smith out of my house, too, but let’s be honest. Samuel Affleck, age 1, would be a more responsible emancipated minor than Jaden Smith. The Smith kids loose in society is honestly my worst nightmare, and I thought I had three more years before that became a reality.
It’s pretty clear, though, that Will Smith operates outside of reality. In that same interview, he calls himself “the biggest movie star in the world.” Okay, then. If you say so.
The thing is — I, too, am too cool for the Kids’ Choice Awards. But you know what I do?
I don’t go to the Kids’ Choice Awards.
Jaden Smith and Justin Bieber were in
Paris London this weekend celebrating Justin’s birthday and were reportedly turned away from a nightclub because, you know, Jaden is fourteen and they don’t let fourteen-year-olds into clubs. This resulted in a lot of angry tweeting from Justin, and a statement via Instagram denying the rumor.
Except here’s the thing. Jaden Smith is exactly the kind of entitled teen who would fly to the other side of the globe with the expectation that getting into the party would be no problem. So excuse me for hesitating to believe that it didn’t happen.
The Smiths are the worst.
Now, I myself am allowed to go anywhere in
Paris the world I so choose (I have an in with the mayor), but I would never personally want to go to a nightclub: too crowded, too loud, not enough cupcakes.
The family that goes clubbing in South Beach together stays together. Or something like that.
I stopped trying to understand the Pinkett-Smiths a long time ago.