I barely slept last night.
First there were Katie’s shoes.
Then there were Katie’s uncomfortable facial expressions during Lady Gaga’s performance.
Then there was Katie’s uncomfortable presenter banter, including about Bruno Mars making her feel romantic. (Gag me. And was she really the best they could get?) Then there was the fact that I had to watch at home on television like a plebeian. (Not that I’m a huge fan of the Video Music Awards, but, I mean … Adele.)
And in the middle of all of that unstoppable humiliation, there was this:
This baby is going to be fashion-forward, wealthy, and half-beautiful. I’m terrified. In situations like this, there’s only one thing you can do, and that is to pray it’s a boy.
Oh, God. Here is the top story on People.com right now:
Somebody hold me.