Quvenzhané Wallis, age 9, has been nominated for...

Suri's Burn Book

Just because you don't have a Ferragamo handbag doesn't mean you can behave like a child. (I'm looking at you, Shiloh.)

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Quvenzhané Wallis, age 9, has been nominated for an Oscar. (I could get nominated without even trying if I had time to let Mr. Spielberg film the movie he wants to make.) She is planning her Oscar ensemble and said it might be pink and won’t be floor-length. 

“I might step on it and trip on it. And I don’t want to humiliate myself!”

I can follow the logic here, but wearing anything but a ball gown to the Oscars is out of the question, even if you are nine. If you can learn how to work the Academy voters, you can learn how to walk in a dress without tripping. Also, please, for the love of everything, do not bring a puppy purse to the Academy Awards.

Quvenzhané Wallis, age 9, has been nominated for an Oscar. (I could get nominated without even trying if I had time to let Mr. Spielberg film the movie he wants to make.) She is planning her Oscar ensemble and said it might be pink and won’t be floor-length. 

“I might step on it and trip on it. And I don’t want to humiliate myself!”

I can follow the logic here, but wearing anything but a ball gown to the Oscars is out of the question, even if you are nine. If you can learn how to work the Academy voters, you can learn how to walk in a dress without tripping. Also, please, for the love of everything, do not bring a puppy purse to the Academy Awards.

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