So Jay-Z “dropped” a new song on his Web site...

Suri's Burn Book

Just because you don't have a Ferragamo handbag doesn't mean you can behave like a child. (I'm looking at you, Shiloh.)

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So Jay-Z “dropped” a new song on his Web site about Blue Ivy Carter. (By the way—it’s officially Blue Ivy Carter now.) (Also, do you call raps “songs”? Is this a rap? I don’t know.)

Let’s get out our handy-dandy notebook and decode the Blue’s Clues in these lyrics, shall we? Oh, God, I hate myself for making a Blue’s Clues reference. Please don’t think I watch children’s programming. (Actually more of a Downton Abbey girl myself, these days.)

First things first: this baby is obviously very loved.

But enough about that.

Bad-ass lil Hov
two years old, shopping on Savile Row
Wicked-ass lil B
Hard not to spoil you rotten, looking like lil me

So this baby is both “bad-ass” and “wicked-ass.” Two words (are those words?) I don’t mind never being used to describe me. I am concerned about Blue Ivy’s closet, because you know they’re going to spend a fortune and a half on her wardrobe, but that’s mitigated by the suggestion that she looks more like Jay-Z than Beyonce. Oh, goodness, I’ve been hoping for that since August 29.

I wreak havoc on the world
Get ready for part two
A younger, smarter, faster me
Saw a pinch of Hov
A whole glass of B

Don’t worry, Mr. Z. I’m ready. I had a head start, and I already know how to write and wear shoes.

At the end of the song, you can hear Baby Blue crying in the background. It’s sweet, I guess, but were they trying to keep her on key? If so, it was a massive failure. It’s not looking good for the hope that Blue Ivy will inherit her mother’s perfect pitch.

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Filed under blue ivy carter jay-z beyonce

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    HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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