This outfit of Satyana Denisof’s has an awful lot going on. Emphasis on awful.
That off-brand princess costume has no business being worn publicly, and neither do those shoes. I don’t even know what to think about the animal-of-an-uncertain-species hat. Unless this outfit is for a children’s ballet performance of Cats, I really don’t get it.
I don’t like graphic tees. I don’t like jean shorts — or cargo shorts, for that matter. Or really shorts at all. I don’t like picnic lunches.
But somehow I’ll forgive it all, because it’s Louis Bullock.
Jamie Lynn Spears shared a photo of her daughter, Maddie, dressed up for a school “Celebrity Day” as her Aunt Britney.
Not only is Britney’s “Baby, One More Time” outfit age-inappropriate for anyone under six, but there are so many better celebrities to emulate. Meryl Streep would have been a fine choice for Maddie, or Dame Julie Andrews, or Hillary Clinton. Also, none of these would have required wearing fluffy ponytail holders, which have never been and will never be okay.
Who is this beautiful alien and what has she done with the walking embarrassment who lives in my apartment?
Jennifer Lopez’s daughter Emme got an invitation to the Chanel show in Paris, which is a real coup for someone who has done nothing to show that she brings anything unique to fashion.
Emme’s outfit is serviceable, I guess, even if her pinks don’t match and the Chanel logo is plastered over every piece of it. (Hello! People are supposed to recognize Chanel even without the logo!) She does seem to have her discerning look down, which is critical. At least she has that going for her.
Former mess Drew Barrymore had a baby last Wednesday, did not make a big deal about it, gave her a good name, and is basically awesome.
Her daughter, Olive Barrymore Kopelman, is the first celebrity baby girl born in this town in like six months and, it seems, won’t be forced into the spotlight before she’s ready. This kind of understated royalty is the right way to think of oneself when you are born into one of Hollywood’s oldest families.
(In related news, Nick and Vanessa Lachey are already tweeting pictures of their one-week-old.)
In case you thought otherwise, you can stop being concerned that you wouldn’t be able to bear witness to the Rancic Miracle. Giuliana and Bill will be broadcasting their son’s birth on their cable show. Says Giuliana:
“This is our sixth season and people have followed our story for years. To have people praying for you and supporting you and wanting the best for you and wanting you to have this baby so badly, and then to say, ‘Thanks for all your prayers, thanks for your support, we’re not showing the baby.’ That’s wrong.”
Yes, little Duke. You’re already something your mom owes to her viewers. I hope you have some good tricks up your sleeve, because these people have been waiting for six years for you to entertain them.
This just in: Beyonce is definitely not pregnant.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved, and that includes all the times there were pregnancy rumors about my own mother. I knew Katie wouldn’t betray me like that, but Beyonce … she and I have issues.
Well, now I feel bad. Jennifer Garner got flustered on Ellen earlier this week, finding herself unable to quickly provide her children’s names and ages, and sharing stories that made her and Mr. Affleck sound like the hillbilly parents we know they kind of are.
But when Ellen jokingly called her out on it, Jennifer said, “Talk to Brad and Angie, they seem to have it together… I call my kids Shiloh sometimes.”
I know I give this family a lot of grief, but Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is on a completely different plane of disgrace than the Afflecks. No one, not even Violet, deserves to be called Shiloh.