August 2012
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My poor sister is taking unnecessary criticism for this photo. While there’s no excuse for that hideous sweatshirt and hideous purse (why does something so small require so many zippers?), I sent her out for the ice cream (and Advil PM and a DVD of Julie Andrews singing “My Favorite Things” on a constant loop) to build up my west coast stockpile.
I can’t accurately...
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Vanity Fair, magazine of my life, is apparently now asking all of their interviewees for their thoughts and feelings about yours truly. Peter and Harry Brant, celebutants and possible lost members of One Direction, explained their adoration of me:
“She’s one of my idols,” he says. Both boys agree that Suri is something of a fashion guru. “And it’s all coming from her,” Harry remarks. “She’s...
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Maybe swimming is my sport after all. I’m not sure if you’re allowed to wear purple polka-dotted Oscar de la Renta swimwear at the Olympics, but I’m sure they’d make an exception for me.
Oh, who am I kidding? We all know I like eye makeup and a good blowout far too much to be a professional swimmer. My disposition is really only suited to one Olympic sport.
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Taylor Swift is dating a Kennedy, which is basically awesome. I’m sure this will lead to a lot of really great songs about young love, disapproving families, and windswept sailing hair. It’s pretty much the most perfectly American thing I’ve ever seen.
Oh, no. Wait.
Sorry, Russia.
July 2012
37 posts
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