March 2012
29 posts
According to Jay-Z’s managing partner, Melanie Fiona (AKA Nobody McNobodystein), Blue Ivy Carter looks Just. Like. Jay. Z.
Which explains why Beyonce is covering up Blue’s face in all of these sidewalk pictures.
“Beyonce says Blue changes every day and looks just like Jay now. She just is so happy. I’ve seen Bey like 3 times since she’s had the baby, and she’s just glowing and she’s saying [motherhood] is the best, and she just loves it!”
I don’t know who you are, Melanie, but let’s be best friends.
I mean, great day or greatest day? Time for cake.
Charlize Theron has adopted a baby, an American boy she’s named Jackson Theron. (This makes him the nearly-namesake of Justin Theroux, and so I will imagine young Jackson wearing stupid fedoras and escorting Jennifer Aniston to events, until there are pictures of him.)
People reports that Charlize chatted with Katie at an event yesterday, possibly to get parenting tips. Listen, I understand the instinct to seek advice from someone related to The Number One Most Influential Child in Hollywood. But if you really want to know how this all happens, you’ll need to have your people call my people. We all know who’s responsible for me.
Angelina Jolie, lying again.
“I used to be the tougher parent, but since the birth of the twins, Brad’s had to play bad cop more often,” she said.
Please. Everyone knows who the mean one is. If Angelina Jolie was around, Pol Pot would be the good cop.
She also says, “I think I’m a little closer to the girls, maybe, but he’s always making them laugh. THE CHILDREN ARE USUALLY VERY WELL-BEHAVED, THOUGH.” (Emphasis added.)
This is from Wednesday:
There’s also this and this and definitely this and this and this.
Try another adjective, like “spirited” or “enthusiastic” or “completely devoid of human decency.”
Of her be-caped Oscar dress, Gwyneth Paltrow says the inspiration came from Jackie Kennedy … and her daughter, Apple.
“My daughter loves a fashion moment,” she said, to which I staunchly reply:
Nope.
