I don’t know. I feel like I’m in some strange fugue state, because here is a photo of Tom and Katie from last night’s Vanity Fair party, and they … do not look awful.
Tom is in classic Armani, Katie in Elie Saab, accessorized by new haircuts and old famous friends, and for once I am actually considering claiming them.
Some people think Katie looked pregnant in this dress; I think she just had a weird tulle/belt incongruity happening. At least, I hope and pray that’s the case. She knows how I feel about siblings. And secrets.
Michelle Williams — who, as you know, goes way back with Katie — is now best friends with Busy Philipps, which makes a lot of sense, as they are both grown-up hipster types. They are going to the Oscars together (or, more accurately, hanger-on Busy is going to the Oscars with nominee Michelle).
Busy told E! that their daughters are going to help them get ready for the big night. Let’s just look at a picture of Matilda Ledger and ask ourselves … is that really a good idea?
For the record, Tom and Katie have foolishly not asked me for my assistance with their Oscar wardrobe planning.
At her New York Fashion Week show, Victoria Beckham introduced a new handbag called “Harper,” after her fashion-forward baby. The bag is sophisticated, modern, and … I’m sorry. It’s just really hard to take a baby seriously after the world sees her throw up.
Look adorable all you want, but we know the truth now.
Well, things are finally starting to make sense around here.
Brad Pitt admitted to James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio that he keeps the Jolie-Pitt children’s energy up with caffeine.
"I admit there’s times like, ‘We gotta get up. Get up! Here’s your shoes. Here’s your shoes. Drink this Coke. Drink this Coca-Cola. Drink it all. Right now! Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!’ Just so we could get ‘em up and going.”
That’ll do it. No wonder Shiloh’s eyes always look like she’s on uppers.
I myself drink only carrot juice, coconut water, and the occasional Diet Sprite.
Also, that James Lipton’ll get you. I’ve inadvertently told that man so many secrets.
Life is so rough in that house, and those people are so vapid, that the two-year-old has to invent more interesting people to hang out with. And honestly, I bet that empty air is more cultured than any real person in that child’s life.
I’m lucky that I was born with outstanding networking skills, or else I may have had to conjure up imaginary friends in order to survive life with the Holmes-Cruises. I have a Donna, too — only her name’s Donna Karan and she’s not at all imaginary.
Madonna very slyly added — and then deleted — her daughter Lourdes from her upcoming film W.E., about the romance between Wallis Simpson and Edward VIII.
"There was a scene where she played Wally as a young girl, and I just kind of dragged her in at the last minute. It was quite unfair of me what I did and what I asked her to do. But she was really great and then I ended up cutting her out of the film. Ruthless, I know. I said, ‘Sorry babe, you’re on the cutting room floor.’ She took it like a champ.”
This is why one must choose her projects very carefully, and not let family get muddled up in career decisions. Katie begged me to play the younger version of herself in Mad Money, but I refused. Despite my lifelong dream of working with Diane Keaton, I just couldn’t make my debut in such a terrible project.