E! is “confirming” through “exclusive sources” that Beyoncé is indeed pregnant with Baby #2. Honestly, this is just one big yawn.
Here’s the thing. When Beyoncé announced her pregnancy with Blue Ivy, she did it in the showiest way possible. Her entire pregnancy was a Beyoncé attentionfest.
Then that baby turned out to be Blue Ivy, who everyone knows — even if they won’t say it out loud — is BORING. Now they know better than to make a big deal about it, because they’re just going to dress the baby in jeans and cheap t-shirts anyway.
So, no, I don’t feel threatened by Beyoncé’s second baby, if that’s what you were expecting.
No one would blame Kim Kardashian for staying home, putting her feet up, and wearing leggings as pants for the next two months. At this point, we’d all prefer the break. But, no, she has made commitments to appearances and apparently to wearing dresses that aren’t her size anymore, and she will keep them.
Everyone knows I’ll wear uncomfortable shoes and dresses as fashion requires such sacrifices, but even I wouldn’t do this to myself. She looks miserable.
I’m going to regret what I’m about to say, but here it is —
Kim should take a page from Jessica Simpson’s book and just go nuts.
Looking pretty good, Alba-Warrens, except for Haven’s flyaways. (Get that baby some hairspray.) Honor’s fashion choices are really maturing, although it’s probably time for her to start wearing high heels already.
Who Ivy Carter? The cutest celebrity toddlers are still Harper and Gideon Burtka-Harris. I want that bathing cap a little bit.
The Spears-Federlines: charming as ever.
(Britney, you look great.)
Jaden Smith is turning fifteen in July, and he may be getting the one present I’ve been lobbying for for years: legal emancipation.
“He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place, like ooh.”
Look, I’d want Jaden Smith out of my house, too, but let’s be honest. Samuel Affleck, age 1, would be a more responsible emancipated minor than Jaden Smith. The Smith kids loose in society is honestly my worst nightmare, and I thought I had three more years before that became a reality.
It’s pretty clear, though, that Will Smith operates outside of reality. In that same interview, he calls himself “the biggest movie star in the world.” Okay, then. If you say so.
There’s a rumor going around that Beyonce is pregnant — or, at least, that she’s going to be pregnant soon. According to People, “Beyoncé and Jay are planning for another baby after her tour is over and things calm down just a bit.”
A year ago, when Blue Ivy was just an infant full of promise, I would have quaked in fear at this rumor. Now that she’s a toddler who wears jeans and cotton/poly blends … whatever, Beyoncé.
Nahla Aubry is looking pretty sassy for a girl who’s about to get a new late-in-life “miracle” brother. Enjoy your last few months of freedom — you are very brave. (Also, what happened to the bottom of your dress? Scissors accident?)
So, no, of course it’s not true that I’m starting my own fashion line. Don’t you think I do enough for the fashion community just by existing? Now they want me to dress the masses? Everyone knows I don’t like to work, and I especially don’t want to be associated with anything off-the-rack.
Harper Beckham’s lunchbox is so last season, and so is smiling at the paparazzi. Get with it, Harper — it’s all about scowling now.